Loyal Order of Water Buffaloes
Initiation Ritual

2016

This script was written by Noble Cliff Hartmier and was first conferred on over 20 men and 1 lady at the 2016 mid-winter convention of the International Shrine Clown Association held in Sioux City Iowa, USA on February 20th, 2016.
The officers that compose a quarry of Water Buffaloes are as follows:
GRAND POO-BAA (sits in the East)
GRAND BUFFALO HARTMIER;
GRAND POO-BAA EMERITUS
MOSTEST RIGHTIOUS VERIEST GRANDEST BUFFALO FLINTSTONE;
HONOURARY GRAND POO-BAA (sits to the left of the GPB)
MOSTEST RIGHTIOUS VERIEST GRAND BUFFALO Hartmier;
SENIOR BOULDER CARRIER (sits in the West)
JUNIOR BOULDER CARRIER (sits in the South)
QUARRY SLATE CHIPPER (sits in the secretary's post)
QUARRY CRUSHER (sits at the Senior Deacon's post)
QUARRY GUARD (sits at the Inner Guard's post)
QUARRY PROTECTOR (sits at the Tyler's post)
1 Bam - all sit,
2 bams - officers only stand,
3 bams - all raise.
 

Regalia required by a Water Buffalo Quarry

- WATER BUFFALO HATS
- CLUBS X 7 (one for each officer)
- BARNEY DOLL (Stuffed Barney plush animal)
- BOWLING SETS (to go by the promise center)
- Bowling Ball (Kijiji or a bowling alley)
- BUFFALO BERRIES (juicy fruit berries candies)
- MEMBERSHIP CARDS
- String or hold hands
- Plastic Wood looking stool. (Promise center)
- Plastic "Flint mobile"
- Promise center in the middle (Similar to an altar)
- Wooden slapping paddles.
Percussion instrument Hardwood Slapstick with Authentic Whip
 
 
Opening of the Quarry
 
GPB: Welcome Earthly Buffaloes to the Quarry. Let the Quarry now be opened.
TWO BAMS OF THE CLUBS BY THE GPB, FOLLOWED BY THE SBC, AND JBC.
GPB: Buffalo Junior Boulder Carrier, is the Quarry Protector guarding our Quarry?
JBC: Buffalo Quarry Guard, is Buffalo Quarry Protector roaming outside the Quarry?
QG, opens the door: Buffalo Quarry Protector are you roaming out here?
QP: Yea I’m here. In a whisper: It’s lonely out here too.
QG, closes the door: Buffalo Junior Boulder Carrier, Buffalo Quarry Protector is out there and he also said that "It's lonely out there too".
JBC: Grand Poo-Baa, Buffalo Quarry Protector is out there and he also said, "He’s lonely out there".
GPB: Senior Boulder Carrier, are you satisfied that we have buffaloes present?
SBC: Good healthy herd of buffaloes in attendance GPB.
GPB: Buffalo Junior Boulder Carrier, when do we meet?
JBC: We meet when the Grand Boo-Bah sounds the whistle GPB.
GPB: Buffalo Senior Boulder Carrier, how is the whistle sounded?
SBC: By yanking the tail of the Bufflehead GPB.
GPB: Buffalo Junior Boulder Carrier, what is a Bufflehead?
JBC: A North American Duck with a seemingly over-large head GPB.
GPB: Buffalo Junior Boulder Carrier, what does the whistle of the Bufflehead sound like?
JBC, using a wooden duck call, makes a two second bird whistle: GPB.
GPB: Buffalo Senior Boulder Carrier, why do we meet?
SBC: To crush boulders into rocks, rocks into gravel, gravel into sand, and sand into dust GPB.
GPB: Buffalo Junior Boulder Carrier, how are we paid for all the crushing we do?
JBC: New specimens receive peanuts upon their excavation into the Quarry. Full fledge Buffaloes each receive one Buffalo Berry for their labors. Quarry Officers each receive two Buffalo Berries while the GPB receives three. While the Honorary Grand Poo-Baa receives nine Buffalo Berries. GPB.
GPB THREE BAMS OF THE CLUBS. All rise
GPB: Buffalo Senior Boulder Carrier, what is the first letter of our secret word?
SBC: "H", GPB.
GPB: Buffalo Junior Boulder Carrier, what is the second letter of our secret word?
JBC: "2" GPB.
GBP: Buffaloes present, I will complete our secret word. The last letter is "O".
GBP: Buffalo Senior Boulder Carrier, when we toast on special occasions, what do we drink?
SBC: Dehydrated water GBP.
GPB: Buffalo Junior Boulder Carrier, why dehydrated water?
JBC: Water has no fat content and will not ruin our gorgeous hindquarters GBP.
GPB: Buffalo Senior Boulder Carrier, Command the Buffaloes to prove themselves.
SBC: All present are to stand up and prove their pride by placing their hands on their hindquarters and moving their hands up and down five times and saying "YA-BA-DA-BA-DO". (The Posterior Sign)
ALL BUFFALOES PROVE THEMSELVES
GPB: I declare all present are Water Buffaloes. Senior Boulder Carrier before the Quarry is opened, place our sacred mascot placed on the altar.
(Buffalo Quarry Crusher places "Dino" on alter as SBC speaks)
SBC: Our sacred dinosaur named "Dino" is placed on the Promise Center as a symbol of our reverence to the other fraternity known as the Stonecutters. The Stonecutters have built great fortresses with the boulders, rocks, gravel and sand that we crush.
GPB: The Quarry is now open for crushing.
BAM BAM / BAM-BAM OF THE CLUBS BY THE GPB, FOLLOWED BY THE SBC, JBC, QG, AND QP.
All recite the opening Ode
 
 
Opening Song
 
Flintstones Meet the Flintstones
They're the modern stone age family
From the town of Bedrock
They're a page right of history
Let's ride with the family down the street
Through the courtesy of Fred's two feet
When you're with the Flintstones you'll have a yabba dabba doo time a dabba doo time
You'll have a gay old time.
 
 
The Excavation of the Buffalo Chip – part one
 
GPB: Earthly Buffaloes, outside of the Quarry is a group of specimens waiting to be rounded up to learn the history, experience the aroma, and discover the mysteries of the buffalo chip.
Buffalo Slate Chipper, read the names on the list of specimens waiting to be excavated into our Quarry of Water Buffaloes.
SC reads names: … GPB.
GPB: Buffalo Quarry Crusher, It will be your pleasure to conduct our specimens through Buffalo Chip Land.
Retire and prepare the specimens.
GPB: Buffalo Junior Boulder Carrier, permit Buffalo Quarry Crusher to leave our sanctuary.
JBC: Buffalo Quarry Guard, permit Buffalo Quarry Crusher to leave our sanctuary.
QG opens door and permit Buffalo Quarry Crusher to leave.
QC prepares all specimens by having all specimens with no shoes or ties. All Specimens form up in a line holding a continuous piece of string. When ready, QP hits the door with Bam-Bam / Bam-Bam.
QG: GPB, there is a noise.
GPB: Buffalo Quarry Guard, if it is Buffalo Quarry Crusher with the specimens, let them in to be excavated into the quarry.
QG: Buffalo Quarry Crusher and specimens, by the grin of the GPB, you are fortunate to enter into this Quarry of water Buffaloes.
All enter into the Quarry.
QG: Buffalo Quarry Crusher, who are these specimens with you?
QC: Buffalo Quarry Guard, these specimens desire to learn the history, experience the aroma and discover the mysteries of the Buffalo Chip. The specimens are desperate for membership into the Exclusive Loyal Order of Water Buffaloes.
QG: This is "Dino" who is our sacred mascot. As Dino kisses you on the cheek, let his kiss be a lasting memory of this occasion and to have everlasting respect for Dino. In Bedrock times,
Dino was a Snorkasaurus as learned in season 1 episode 18.
GPB, the specimens are here awaiting their excavation.
GPB: Specimens, as each of us were desperate to join this exclusive Order, it is customary for the members here assemble who all want to hear your answers as loud as possible to the following questions. "Remember, Fred was known as a loudmouth".
Do you love to smell Buffalo Chips?
Specimens yell: Yes.
GPB: Specimens, the Water Buffaloes here assembled want to see if you are barefoot and properly prepared to be excavated into this the Premier Quarry of the Loyal Order of Water Buffaloes. Considering this, you are all required to pretend to drive the "FLINTMOBILE" around the Quarry. Beginning with the first two Specimens in teams of two, you will let go of the rope and making lots of sounds with your voice and the big foot sounds trying to outdo the each other, go around the Quarry room once. When you pass the Junior and Senior Boulder Carriers, you will make the sound of a prehistoric car horn similar to a bird. After
your lap is finished, you pass the "FLINTMOBLE" to the next two specimens and then take hold of the string again. Once everyone has driven around the Lodge room in a Flintstone manner, we’ll carry on to the next re-enactment of pre-Historic lifestyle or a scene.
GPB Trivia Moment Break Did you know that all throughout the series that the cars were run by feet but if this is the case, why did gas stations exist?
GPB: Prior to advancement within this Mostest Rightious Veriest Grandest magnificent, Honorable Order, a promise is required by each of you specimens. Are you willing to proceed?
QC replies: Yes.
GPB: Brother Quarry Crusher, it will be your job to have each specimen approach the Promise Center of the Quarry by the historical Fred Flintstone Bowling approach.
QC: Specimens, historically MOSTEST RIGHTIOUS VERIEST GRANDEST BUFFALO Fred Flintstone discovered that he was off on his bowling game right before the big match. After hearing in a television commercial that rhythm is "the secret of success in many activities, including bowling," he rushed off to the Bedrock Dance Academy to sign up for ballet lessons in order to beat the opposing team during a big bowling match. This was depicted in the episodes called "Bowling Ballet which aired on October 5, 1962 and was from season 3 episode 4.
Show picture of Fred doing ballet with the bowling ball.
Approaching the Promise Center provides each Water Buffalo wanna-bee with an opportunity to re-enactment a Historic scene of our Honorary Grand Poo-baa. Thus, if you know the name of the team which Fred beat, you get to take the shortcut to the Promise Center with the bowling ball. If not, you get to take the long route around the Quarry to the Promise Center while enacting this historical scene.
ANSWER The ballet lessons helped Fred beat what team in the big bowling match?
The Rockland Rockets
All Specimens approach the GPB and is tested to see if they are in possession of the correct answer.
All approach the center and wait for the Buffalo promise.
 
 
Promise
 
GPB: The specimen closest to the Promise Center will kneel and grasp the sacred Dino with both hands while everyone else places a hand on another’s shoulder in front of them.
For you are about to repeat is a promise to keep the secrecy of this group to better enable it to entice specimens to join and to further raise funds for charity. "Do you agree?"
Specimens say: Yes.
GPB: Say I and state your nickname one at a time individually and repeat after me.
Do hereby promise to keep the secrets and the contents of the degree of this degree to myself and to only discuss it with another Brother or sister Water Buffalo upon receiving the initials of the sacred word and demonstrating the Posterior sign. I promise to uphold the good name of Barney the Dinosaur with very positive remarks even when talking to others who are not Water Buffaloes? I further promise an on annual basis to watch at least 1 minute of Barney with a young child at least once a year? I also promise to watch at least 1 episode a year of the Flintstones? Lastly, I promise to uphold the clean record of the Exclusive Loyal Order of Water Buffaloes?
Should I violate this promise, the traditional penalty is to consume in one sitting the following: 1 can of beans, 6 cabbage rolls, 1 big bowl of chili, 60 ounces of prune juice, and become the most sociable person on this planet for the next 24 hours. Or the traditional ISCA way of being pied in the face continuously 100 times over 5 minutes.
To make this a promise complete, you will all pick up Dino and give him a hug and say "I respect you".
GPB: Specimens you will all leave the Quarry and re-enter one by one for another historical re-enactment of season 4, episode 22 where Wilma and Betty are curious about what goes on at Fred and Barney's Water Buffalo meetings so they sneak in wearing disguises but to only find out that they are now Specimens for the initiation.
Buffalo Quarry Crusher, you will leave the Quarry with the Specimens and bring them in individually for the next sections.
GPB: Buffalo Junior Boulder Carrier, permit the Quarry Crusher and the Specimens to leave for a further experience of a historical Flintstone scene.
JBC: Brother Quarry Guard, permit the Quarry Crusher and the Specimens to leave for a further experience of a historical Flintstone scene.
Quarry Crusher and Specimens leave to come back individually for the paddling scene in Lodge.
Prior to the enactment, all of the officers are required to be space 10 feet apart on the outside of the perimeter of the Lodge Room.in a line for the Specimens to enter.
As the Quarry Crusher enter with a Specimen or pair, the first officer pretends to paddle the specimen and they advance thru all officers until paddled 6 times.
After a Specimen(s) has been paddles, they take a wait on the south side of the Quarry and make sounds of pain whenever another specimen comes in to get paddles and all wait for the secrets and the historical speech afterwards.
 
 
The Secrets
 
Article 219 Section 4
When two or more Buffaloes meet, they stand facing each other with their hands up in the air while the phrase must be made with a handshake.
The water buffalo handshake is made by extending thumbs, flapping feet causing handshakes to float in the air and the cry "Woo ah Wah! Woo a Wah!"
A Woo, La Woo La Woo Woo!
The password for a Water Buffalo is:
Ack Acka Dak
Dak Daka Ack
Water Buffalo Creed (rise & remove hats):
GPB: "We are proud to be a buffalo, the kind that likes the water."
Members: "We joined the Water Buffaloes because we know we ought to!"
To become a full time water buffalo,
1) Water Buffaloes must have tender hearts." The spanking scene in a line
2) A Water buffalo must be strong. The tug of war with the Lodge buffaloes with a pool of dirt and the new buffaloes lose. Afterwards, the new buffaloes are spray done with water from the elephant
3) A water buffalo must have endurance. The wheelbarrow race where Wilma and Betty race against Fred and Barney but leave the Lodge hall knowing that they do not belong.
motto "Ackus Ackus Adackus
Brother Buffaloes, honored Herdmaster, Junior Bucks and Apprentice Antlers
Grand Poobah
Grand Poobah is a term derived from the name of the haughty character Pooh-Bah in Gilbert and Sullivan's The Mikado(1885). In this comic opera, Pooh-Bah holds numerous exalted offices, including "First Lord of the Treasury, Lord Chief Justice, Commander-in-Chief, Lord High Admiral Archbishop of Titipu, and Lord Mayor" and Lord High Everything Else. The name has come to be used as a mocking title for someone self-important or high-ranking and who either exhibits an inflated self-regard or who has limited authority while taking impressive titles. The formal term for the practice of holding multiple offices is "dual mandate".
In popular culture
The term "Grand Poobah" was used on the television show The Flintstones as the name of a high ranking elected position in a men's club. Fred Flintstone and his friend Barney Rubble were members of the Loyal Order of Water Buffaloes Lodge No. 26. The lodge is a spoof of men's clubs like the Freemasons, the Shriners, the Elks Club and the Moose Lodge.
 
 
The Historical Flintstone Lecture (time permitting)
 
Fred and Wilma were originally supposed to be parents to a son, named "Fred Flintstone Junior". This son appeared in an early press release book, and in a Little Golden Book, "The Flintstones". However, this was changed from the cast before the series went into production. Later, when the Flintstones did have a child, it was decided that the baby would be a daughter, instead of a son, for merchandising reasons, as girl dolls especially Barbie, supposedly sell far much better than boy dolls, like the G. I. Joe, approximately a 50 to 1 ratio.
Originally, Fred was to regularly shout "Yahoo!" to express his excitement. Alan Reed personally felt that "Yahoo!" was too ordinary and weak & did not draw much attention, when in extreme excitement. An improvising meeting resulted in the origination of Fred Flintstone's trademark catchphrase, "Yabba-Dabba-Do!"
The phrase "Yabba Dabba Doo!" was thought up after Alan Reed told Hannah & Barbera creators, William Hanna & Joseph Barbera that his mother was once fond of the long running (now expired) Brylcreem's hair-styling slogan, "A little dab'll do ya!"
The Flintstone's had three addresses, as the series went on. First: 222 Rocky Way. Second: 345 Stonecave Road. Third: 301 Cobblestone Way. The final ("official") address given was 301 Cobblestone Way, Bedrock 70777. 70777 is the real ZIP code for Slaughter, Louisiana.
 
 
 
Closing of the Quarry
 
GPB: Brother SBC and JBC, do you have anything for the good of the Quarry?
SBC, provides some remarks, then repeats: I am finished.
JBC, provides some remarks, then repeats: I am finished.
GPB: Buffaloes present, have any of you have any to say for good of the order?